Surgery Update

First and foremost, thank you for all the prayers, warm wishes, text messages and calls. I truly appreciate them all. This has again shown me that family isn't always blood. So many friends have become family to me and my family.

I had to undergo another surgery yesterday between my abdominal and pelvic cavities because of the ripping and tearing pain. It was once again affecting my daily life and in return, putting too much on my family. In the beginning the surgeon was hesitant to perform another surgery on me because of the risks that come with my surgeries as well as the fact that I have had WAY too many surgeries. He just didn't want to perform something that would be up being unnecessary and explained to me that he could not promise anything positive from a surgical procedure. I informed him that I didn't expect him to be a miracle worker and that if we didn't do surgery we would never know what was causing the pain, even though I was already 100% sure the adhesion's were becoming worse and worse. He also explained to me that he feared I have a chronic pain condition due to so many surgeries and the trauma. I think some of his hesitance lies within the fact I can be in a tremendous amount of pain and still smile. I hate showing when I am in pain. As I told him, I have literally been on my death bed, so I know how that feels. Which, we all know that I spent a week at home in kidney failure, refusing to get seen.

The outcome of the surgery is my abdominal area for the most part, looked great! However, my pelvic area was saturated in adhesion's from wall to wall, thus causing the pain. If I sneezed, moved a certain way, coughed and so on, I would feel as though my stomach was just ripping in a horrible way. He cleaned me completely out. The surgeon showed photos to Kevin after he left the OR, leaving Kev in shock over the before and after photos. He said it was a huge difference.

This was an outpatient procedure, so as soon as I was able to urinate, I was able to go home. It took me a couple attempts and a few hours before I was finally able to urinate, but when I did I was like a kid on Christmas. I was so excited that I left the restroom grinning from ear to ear in a ton of pain, telling Kevin "I was able to pee!!!". This is not something that most get excited over! However, when a person go into  kidney failure this is the thing that excites them more than anything! I felt very accomplished after this! Haha It doesn't take much to make my day, people!

I have had a rough time with the gases that I was pumped full of since last night when my body came back to life. My upper abdominal area and shoulder (especially right one) are causing a lot of pain. I can't wait to finally be able to pass the gasses. I am allowed to walk a little today to jump start this process. Yesterday I was confined to bed unless I had to use the restroom. I can't take a shower until Monday morning. Ick! I am not okay with that part, but will manage. Of course no baths for a few weeks. I have come to the conclusion we desperately need more decor in our bedroom because the walls are awfully boring. :) The things I notice when I am stuck in one room...

The hospital experience was superb! Everyone was absolutely amazing from the nurses when I walked in to the ones when I left. We didn't have anyone here to stay with the kids, so Kev and the kids dropped me off yesterday morning around 5:20 at The Surgery Center which is a part of The Medica Center of Central Georgia. I was so nervous going in without Kevin. I have never had to do that. He made it up there a few minutes after they took me to the OR, so I was unable to see him until lunch time when I went to the second recovery room.

Again, thank you to those that helped me through my anxiety over the past two weeks, for checking up on me, praying, well wishing, and just being here! Without you, I am not sure I would have made it through! I love you all!

Entering the Last Year of My 20's

On Wednesday, May 9, I entered the last year of my 20's. Hello 29! What a change from 28 to 29! I don't even know where to start on what has happened and how life has changed since the day I turned 28. For starters, we are no longer living the army life and we are no longer in El Paso (as most already know). Kevin was medically retired from the army in January of this year and we have been living in Arkansas since he went on leave in November of 2011. This year has brought a lot of loss into my life, family and friends, and I have spent a lot of time reflecting over life in general. (See blog posts prior to this one.).

This year has also brought happiness to our house. Until this birthday, the last one that I was able to spend with Kevin was in 2003. Since then, he has either been in the field, on deployments, or in training for more than a few weeks (months) at a time. For the first time in nine years, my husband was actually home to spend the day with me and you know what, I could not ask for anything more than that. Having Kevin and the kids home to celebrate my birthday and Mother's Day with me made it all perfect! There was nothing else that could have made my day any better than it was. We hung out around the house, got out for a bit, and even went to dinner that night. AMAZING. Too often I hear people complain about what their spouse did not get them or that their spouse was late getting home or plans were messed up and all I can think is how blessed they are just to have their spouses home. I have spent countless days, nights, weeks, and months without Kevin by my side due to the army and just to have him home this year meant the world to me. It made me realize just how blessed I am and how much I do cherish what I have. The best things in life are the most priceless ones.

This past weekend, Stephanie and I took off for a girls day/night out to Little Rock for a Dierks Bentley concert. We spent the morning driving to Little Rock, stopping at a couple stores in Hot Springs. We checked out the mall in Little Rock, ate lunch at Red Lobster, and then headed to The Verizon Arena for some country fun! Cadillac Black and The Eli Young Band opened for Dierks. All were absolutely amazing!!! Steph and I had pit passes and were literally at the stage, in the front. Oh My!!! All three rocked the stage and turned the evening into an freaking fabulous time out and made our birthday celebrations fantastic! Of course, after the concert we got back on the road for our three hour drive home.

Pit Pass!!!

We were right at the stage

Stephanie and me

Eli Young Band

Eli Young Band

Eli Young Band

Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley

 Thank you to everyone that made this birthday special, most of all, thank you to my amazing husband, Kevin. I could not ask for more than what I have been blessed with. Having Kevin home this year was the best birthday gift ever.

Moments of Definition

Sitting at Church on Easter, our pastor asked us to think back on the defining moments in our lives, which I of course did. As I thought back to the moments that have defined, shaped and molded me into the woman I am today, I felt overwhelmed with emotions. Here I am, cutting close to 29 and have seen, done, and been through more than many of my friends. In ways, I guess you could say I feel as though I have "lost" my place with many of them because of my experiences.

What has defined me? Where would I even start?

As a child I ran into health issues, which the doctor explained would take my life without the proper medication. Over the years, I have learned this to hold much more truth than I believed as a child. My health issues have left me in the hospital, fighting to become well again. As a teenager, I really went through some tough moments, ones of which I will not go into detail here on. Then at the young age of 17 I was faced with the reality of becoming a mother as I discovered that I was pregnant. Looking back, I was just a child myself, yet grew up rather quickly as I learned that I was responsible for another human being. By the age of 19, Kevin and I had two daughters just 15 months apart...after the doctors told me I would never be able to get pregnant.

Being pregnant with Bre was discovering my second home to be in the hospital. I spent the majority of the last fifteen weeks there and ended up having her right before 35 weeks gestation. At this defining moment, I learned to cherish every moment. Breanna flat-lined multiple times during the last couple of days that I was pregnant and she had her struggles the first year, and even some now with her breathing. We like to refer to her as our miracle child.

At the age of 20 my husband decided to enlist in the army. At this time we were faced with new challenges, new experiences, and many changes. During the eight and a half years that he was in, we endured numerous field probs, training, two deployments, and countless nights apart. We learned to depend on each other in ways that we never would have imagined. We grew apart at times, just to find our way back to one another and fall in love all over again... or more than we ever were to begin with. We lived through the fears. We lived through all the army throws at a soldier and his family. We lived through the realities of war really can do to a soldier. We lived through hearing of permanent damages. We have survived thus far with my husband being forever permanently wounded from combat. He survived one of the most selfless acts a person can do after countless convoys and multiple IED's, VBIEDS, mortars, rockets, RPG's, Snipers, and so much more. After many close calls, he is here. Everyday may be a struggle at times and we do live our lives in ways that family and friends may not understand, but we do it together. This is just another defining moment of ours that has shaped us into who we are.

One of the most defining moments for me was realizing that I may not live in 2010. When I had to send Kevin a text message from our upstairs room (El Paso, TX house) because I could not breathe enough to yell for him, I knew something was terribly wrong. I looked like I was nine months pregnant due to me being so swollen, not being able to urinate, filling with fluids and bleeding internally all because a doctor did not cauterize sites after surgery. This was a time that changed many things about me. This was a time that truly opened my eyes. At one in the morning, I had to make the phone calls to my parents and Kev to his to inform them that the doctors did not know if I was going to live or not because my body was shutting down. My kidneys had already shut down. There I was, a 27 year old, mother to three little ones, wife to an amazing man fighting like hell for my life. I called my dad and told him what was going on, feeling strong as I dialed his number. When I heard his voice, it was like I became that little girl again, just needing her daddy. Needing for him to say "everything will be okay". I was honestly scared. Before Kevin left the room to call his parents, I kept telling him "I'm my Grandmother's Granddaughter, so of course I would be okay". Yet, after he left, I was on the phone bawling like a little child. This to me, was one of the most defining moments of my life.

Surviving kidney failure not once, but twice within a two and a half month span opened my eyes, it allowed me to let go of the negative and cling to the positive. It has allowed me to cherish the small things and moments in life, as we never know when they can be taken from us. Lying in the hospital both times, fighting for my life, thinking about all that I have in life, made me a better person. I no longer hold on to the past or grudges. I have learned and accepted that I can't change people nor can I make them behave a certain way. I have learned that not everyone will be there when they say they will, and no matter how much it hurts, that's okay. That's just life. I've learned that often times, friends are our family and the last ones we expect to be there for us are often times the first ones opening their arms and hearts. I've learned that people aren't who they say there are and I've learned to let go of those people, just as I have learned to let go of the ones that I am always there for, yet do not have that in return in my moments of darkness. "If someone cannot handle me at my worst, then they sure as hell don't deserve me at my best" - one of the best things Marylin Monroe ever spoke. Why should I share my moments of joy and happiness with those that cannot stand beside me through my moments of weakness.

Even today in life, between my health issues, children, and wounded husband, I have my moments of weakness. I have my days of breaking into tears over a commercial. I have my moments that I want to yell at the world that sometimes life just isn't fair or want to fight with someone because why do I have these health issues? Why is my life so limited after kidney failure and other things? Why is my husband so damn broken? Then through all the pain, anger and sadness, I do find the happiness. I am still here to get angry over this - all things that I deserve to have anger and frustrations over. I am entitled to my "bad" days, especially when I do not feel right. I do have my husband around that I can get irritated with when he does things that make me stop and shake my head. A husband that does love me for me and that I would be lost without. I do have three kids that can drive me up a wall, yet can leave me with a heart so full of love and pride that I never knew existed. I have my family and friends, all of whom support me and love me for me.

The moments that have defined me are too many to mention and I know there will be many more in the future. Whether they are near or far, some I will openly welcome and others I will hope they remain in the far future. With whatever happens in this life, we are all faced with moments that define us as individuals, in our relationships, as parents, as children, and as much more. These moments will be good and they will be bad. They make us who we are. What we do with these moments and how we react to them is what makes us the person we are today. After my kidney failure, I started to change my life around more than ever before. I have opened my eyes and in ways become a new person. I like the new me and I learn more about me everyday.

Life is full of opportunity, take it. Life is full of moments to make memories, so make them! Cherish what you have and who you are with. The moment you are in is a moment you can never get back. Let the good and the bad define you into a person you are proud to be.

What moments in life have defined you? Leave a comment on this blog post!

I'm Now Writing for Yahoo

Four Must Do's When a Spouse Has Combat PTSD...

This is an article that I wrote and Yahoo published on October 20, 2011 that had an amazing response! I have received multiple emails on this article on how much it has helped and how much it has been needed for someone to write something for spouses. Check it out at this link:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/9055755/four_must_dos_when_a_spouse_has_combat.html?cat=72

Other than that, I have a couple more articles that have been shared on Yahoo's Associated Content sites and a few more in the works that will be published soon. Yahoo picked me up in early October of this year. Leave comments or email me on anything that you think would make for a great article and of course your thoughts on what I have written already! brbiddle@ymail.com or brittney@familyofavet.com

Halloween & Moving Prep

I feel like it has been quite awhile since I last updated on here! I am sure that most of you know, things are more than chaotic and busy around here with our upcoming move!

Last week we celebrated Breanna's 10th birthday...which is incredibly hard to believe! Where have the years gone? Since we are in the middle of getting ready for the move, Bre had a small slumber party at the house to celebrate her birthday, then a day out buying a few new outfits with me.

Last Saturday the kids and I started the morning off by heading to Fort Bliss for their Fall Festival at Freedom Crossing. The girls were able to get their faces painted like a cat and a devil look to go with their costumes. Nic decided to opt out of the whole face painting experience and just strutted along in his Ninja costume. After face painting, the little ones were able to Trick-or-Treat throughout the shopping area (stores and restaurants).

Following the Fall Festival, we made a cookie cake and started to set up for the slumber party. We ended up having six loud girls at our house Saturday. It was CRAZY!!! One of the little girls picked a fight with Caitlin numerous times and had me ready to pull my hair out. Other than that, the girls were fantastic and our first cookie cake turned out amazing!!!

Halloween night was spent doing the normal, Trick-or-Treating around the neighborhood, followed by dinner and homework. The kids ended up with a good amount of candy and an easy night of the kids going straight to bed with no fights.

We have more than half the house packed up already and plan to get the rest done this weekend. It still seems so surreal that we will be out of here a week from today! Kevin and I spent so much time this past week on post trying to clear everything that we possibly could and sitting through multiple briefings. He finals out on Thursday afternoon and begins leave at midnight Friday. I don't expect to blog too much over the next two weeks, but will try to keep everyone updated. We do have our new address, so if you would like it, please email us brbiddle@ymail.com or brittney@familyofavet.com. As of next week we will more than likely have new cell numbers as well.

Today was not a productive day at all! I think this past week has been a tad overwhelming and too much of not being able to slow down that today was our day of relaxing... Well, it was our day of not doing anything that we were planning to do. We did spend time in the middle of the desert once Nic went to school this afternoon so I could shoot my .22 rifle and .380. Kevin just stayed back while I shot cans and loaded my magazines. Shooting is still not something that he has any interest in.

My Heart Just Aches

Over the past couple of weeks my inbox on Facebook has become overwhelmingly full of the Breast Cancer Awareness emails that we are all so familiar with. As we all know Breast Cancer Awareness month is next month and FB female friends always get a jump start in September playing the "update your status with..." email game. Typically the emails consist of the color or something or where do you like to keep your purse with an answer that sounds somewhat sexual. It always raises eyebrows of the men and giggles from the women. Well, this year it seems to raise a little more than good humor in smiles in some women. I for one have no desire or interest to even play along this year. As always, I will speak my mind in hopes to raise awareness for Breast Cancer because it holds a special place in my heart. It has run through my family like crazy, Kevin's grandmother passed away from it when he was two, and in 2006 my best friend was by his mothers side as she passed away after battling cancer off and on for years! However the game this year is asking for women to write their status as... "I'm (your birthday month) and craving (your birthdate that ends up being coded with candy/food)" which to the majority would imply you are expecting.  Notice right below to see the email I am referring to, then below where I continue with my thoughts...


It’s that time of year again in support of Breast Cancer Awareness! We all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status? or the way we like to have our handbag handy?

Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!

DO NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing And please Broadcast this to all ur female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year

I did my part… So now its YOUR turn!

The idea is to choose the month You were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round the world.

So you’ll write… I’m (your birth month) weeks and I’m craving (your birth date) !!! as your status

Example: Feb 14th= I’m 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!!


So, after reading this, maybe some of you can instantly see my reasons on not taking part in any of this. It is a slap in the face to those of us that want (more) children, yet are not able to have them. "Hello, I am 28 years old, a mother of three (thankfully!) while enduring incredibly high risk pregnancies, with major medical problems that has led to an extreme amount of surgeries, intense chronic pain, and never again being able to experience pregnancy, growth, and the delivery of a precious newborn." Can I place that as my status? Probably not because it would rub people the wrong way.  Instead, we have to look for a way to adopt a newborn, which many of us know is a very complicated process. There is no way I could put this implication on my status while trying to raise awareness. I had many surgeries with many complications, almost costing me my life, in order to have a full hysterectomy in order to save my life in the end. There is nothing right about any of this. What I would do for another baby and how my heart just aches for that little one....

What about the ones who are capable of having children, yet have not at this point, and place this on their status? Is it right for families and friends to read so much into it and become filled with joy and pure happiness and more excitement than they know what to do with it all because they instantly think someone is pregnant? Why is it acceptable to toy with the emotions of others by placing this as a status? I know there are others like me that see this and their hearts just sink because there are so many actively playing along with this, probably not seeing the harm in any of it because we know that it would not be done intentionally. Yet, it does not help to ease the pain or sinking feeling to ones that are in the shoes that I am in or ones that have never been blessed with having a child.

In the end, this is just not something I agree with as a way to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. There are many more ways to do such a a thing. 

Five Day Catch-up

We did it! We managed to survive the first week of school with children now in pre-k, third, and fourth grades! What a week of ups and downs it has been dealing with school, as well as my recovery!

The girls are riding the bus in the mornings as well as the afternoon, with Nic riding with them in the afternoon. His days are only half days this year. There is also a bus that comes through the neighborhood around eleven every morning to take the little ones in Pre-K to school. He thinks he is hot stuff this year! Every morning, Nic loads up on the pre-k bus he smiles tells me he loves me, gives me a hug and is off to school. My heart aches as he goes about the same routine every day. It aches because my baby is no longer a baby, he is getting bigger by the day. It leaves me wondering where the past four years have gone... How has time gone so quickly that he is now a pre-school child, full of energy, very talkative, and always into something? It seems like yesterday that I was on the phone with Kevin, trembling that he would be so upset, as I told him I was at the doctor and he instantly put it together. His response, "Are we?". Once I confirmed, that yes, we were having another baby, he was full of joy and pride. Complete opposite of what I had expected. It seems like yesterday that we were bringing our little man home and starting a new life with him. Now here we are, off to his exploring new things! Absolutely amazing!

The kids all have fantastic teachers...well, at least at this point. So far they seem to be great teachers. We all know how quickly that can change once everyone finds their comfort zones in school! Breanna is showing interest in everything this year is already showing. She loves her new teacher and the class that she is in. It looks as though she may be trying out for chorus in the upcoming weeks!  Caitlin is starting tutoring after school, two days a week in two weeks. We are very pleased the teacher has already showed such interest in her and her well being and are praying this school year is more successful than the ones in the past. Nicholas LOVES going to school, learning, and making new friends. He is already showing improvements in the learning department!

Kevin is recovering fabulously from his spinal surgery! The difference is quite amazing and it is obvious that he is feeling somewhat better. He can turn his head left and right without the grinding from before. As with everything, it is day to day. The pain is still there, but he can tell many changes. Just as we all can. Even in the way he stands, he no longer has the bump that he use to at the base of his neck area.

I saw the surgeon yesterday and am still on a limited list of things I can do. There really isn't much I can do. Since he removed my cervix, we now have to make sure I heal completely. The cervix holds organs in, since I no longer have it they had to close it all up (while inside, they stitched) in order to prevent the "fall out". The surgeon also went into more detail about things. The surgery last year really messed me up and left more complications, as stated in a post before this one. The part of the ovary that was left played a major factor in the pain and complications of this past year. It was the reason I had a constant pain up to the stabbing, doubled over feeling. This as well as the adhesion's and my cervix issues. He was in disbelief over exactly how bad I was and the complications that existed. I just feel incredibly lucky and blessed that I have an amazing surgeon and would recommend him to anyone! He listens, he cares, and he is dang good at what he does! Dr. Farnam walked into the exam room and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Hey! How is my problem child today?" We couldn't help but to smile over this! Apparently, I am one of the worst cases.... Hmmmm.... Not too surprised on that one! I am sure I will have more to say on this situation later next week once I have time to take things in a little more. I am doing well, as well as one can be with circumstances. I am officially in full blown surgical menopause... and let me just tell you all.... IT SUCKS!!!! Hot flashes are no joke! Overall, I am just incredibly thankful for the surgeon that I have and the amazing job that he did!

Thank you to all that have supported us and stayed by my side through the difficult and complicated time. I love each of you and am incredibly blessed to have you each in my life!

This little guy is just not use to such a busy day....

After Britt's Surgery Update

As most know, I had to undergo another abdominal/pelvic surgery six days ago, on Wednesday (August 17, 2011). The surgery was expected to hold many complications, but not as many as it ended up having. Dr. Farnam, my surgeon, was not too sure if he would be able to remove my cervix, or if this would lead to more surgeries, because he was limited to the information on what all was going on with me since the Army has it all.

I ended up going into surgery a little earlier that what was scheduled, which now is an excellent thing! The typical 30-45 minute surgery that I went in for ended up taking over 3.5 hours. Talk about complications. When Dr. Farnam made the incisions, he explained afterwards, that I was more covered in adhesion's than I should be. Too many within a year period and this explained all the pain that I was in. However, it also left a lot of questions as to what in the world the surgeon last year was honestly doing when her removed my ovaries. It took the my surgeon over an hour and a half just to cut through and clean the adhesion's out and yes, he did make the final diagnosis of my adhesive disease that I am now stuck with. This means there will more than likely be more surgeries in the future as a clean out and hopefully nothing more. At some point, pieces of my ovaries were found still in my pelvic cavity. Yes, you read right.... Which explains why the ER doctor kept telling me that I had ovarian cyst even after I argued that my ovaries were removed. This may also be why I have not felt well at all, even while on my estrogen. Then it took more time to separate my cervix from my sigmoid colon. The two were tapered together and in poor condition. While separating, they did run into a small  problem with a tear in my colon that was repaired right away. Gas was used to fill my colon in order to make sure there was no leakage. Thankfully, Dr. Farnam did an awesome job! After that, he went on to remove my cervix. As I said earlier, what should have taken under an hour, ended up lasting over three and a half hours due to all the complications.  I see Dr. Farnam later this week to find out more details of the surgery and what all was found. At this point, I am really not too sure what to even think. He was able to confirm how much the surgeon at Beaumont really jacked me up and to be honest, I still have not been able to process it all yet... I am really upset over it and have tried to not think about it this week. With all the adhesion's and ovary pieces, I can't help but to wonder what he really did last year, besides almost cost me my life on different occasions.

This surgery was much more painful that I ever expected and there were times I found it very hard to breathe. It has taken a toll on my body, emotionally and physically, and honestly right now I am just trying to maintain a busy life. I have been home since the day after, Thursday, and have been taking it easy for the most part. Okay, and I have been absolutely bored out of my mind. Yet, I have managed to keep my word this time around and do pretty much nothing at all during this recovery time! You should all be so incredibly proud, because this is seriously hard to do for me! Kevin has been a wonderful help. David, Kev's dad, happened to come in town over the weekend. Which, this of course, was a wonderful distraction away from the surgery, with the exception of the fact I felt horrible for not being able to do anything at all but sit around the house. I am on a two week do nothing at all schedule. No lifting, bending, picking things up, or anything really other than sitting on the couch. Oh, and I can't drive for at least the first two weeks. Thank God for my baby laptop! I'd be real lost without it. Especially since my cell phone fell into the bathtub and the bottom button no longer works. If you have an IPhone, you know exactly how annoying this is. I have to turn it off and back on just to get into a different file! Once my two weeks is up, I can slowly start doing things again. I still have to take it extremely easy until I am past the eight week mark on recovery. Only seven more to go!

Thank you to all that have been here helping me get through this time. Thank you to the family and friends that I may not talk to everyday, yet you have been full of thoughts, prayers, messages, and calls throughout this past week. I can never explain exactly what this has meant to me. It goes to show that we don't have to talk everyday in order to always be here for each other! I love you all and am very blessed to have you all in my life!

 Thank you to my girls that I have been blessed with through FOV! You ladies NEVER let me down and never let me go through anything alone! Y'all are absolutely amazing and I'd be lost you in my life. What went from "co-workers" has turned into lifelong friends. Thank you for being who you are and I love each of you so very much!  You guys mean more to me than any amount of words could ever say!

And of course, thank you to the most amazing husband and children a girl could ever wish and hope for. I have been incredibly lucky and more blessed than I probably deserve. Thank you Kevin for always staying by my side and sticking by me through everything in life. I love you and our kids more than the air I breathe and cannot wait to see what life has in store for us, especially with the upcoming changes that are soon about to take place! I love you with every ounce of my being!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you... and many, many more Thank You's to my family at FamilyOfaVet.com, Hillary, and Joanna for sending me such beautiful flowers, cards, candy, and cookies! All of them are absolutely amazing and beautiful! You all know exactly how to make a girl feel incredibly special! I love you guys! ***Sorry Jo, the cookies were opened before I could ever take a picture of them! Kids, lol. They are all very tasty!***

Movie-Bumming Kind of Weekend

Lauren came into to town this past weekend!!!!!!!!!

On Friday, around lunchtime, I picked up one of my closest friends, Lauren from the airport and our weekend was started! We spent Friday evening looking at houses in the El Paso area, then headed home to get ready for a girls night out. We spent the evening out with Tasha and watching the newest Planet of the Apes movie that just came out. It was so much better than any of us expected. Following that, we all headed back to our house and crashed out for the night. Tasha has been staying with us as she waits to deploy sometime next week.

On Saturday we pretty much bummed it around the house and out in El Paso for a bit. We headed to the mall in search for Lauren a new hair straightener and some slippers (cute pink pig ones!), then we caught a matinee movie, The Change Up. Following the movie we decided to donate blood for a free movie pass and because it holds a special place with me after last year. United Blood had a donation bus in front of the theater. Let's just say that was not the best idea over the weekend! A little more than half way through, Lauren started to feel incredibly sick. Luckily she never passed out or anything. However, I did great through the donation and wonderful for the first almost fifteen minutes. Then out of nowhere, it all hit me and I started to slip in and out before finally fainting two times. No one understood why it took that long to hit me and were concerned with my medical issues. As you can see, that was by far the worst idea on my part! We did get to use our free movie passes that night and saw Friends with Benefits... not a good movie. We were let down after hearing from others how great and funny the movie was supposed to be. The Change Up, on the other hand, was awesome and very funny! It is a must see for most people. However, if you are easily offended with bad language, stay away from this one! Lauren and I witnessed an elderly woman that was by herself leave within the first ten minutes due to the vulgar language! Now, you can't say I didn't warn you! We were amazed that parents actually allowed their children to see this movie...with them!!!! It really made me question parenting styles. We loved the movie and spent a lot of time laughing!

Then came Sunday.... oh, how it came just a little too soon! The weekend seemed to fly by, but it was a much needed one for the both of us. I was sad to see Lauren leave, but am excited that we are planning another weekend fairly soon, for her to come back out!

Thank you Lauren for flying out here and spending the weekend with me! It was great to see you and I already miss you tons! Love you girl!

Crazy girl... Right before our movie!

Hanging out in the garage with Lauren and Tasha

Here We Go Again... Another Abdominal Surgery....

This afternoon was spent at the surgeons office, to receive the official news, in which we already expected, that I DO in fact have to undergo another pelvic surgery. As most of you may know, for years I have had issues and health problems in the female region due to endometreosis and ovarian cysts. I have also had multiple surgeries on my pelvic/abdominal area. More so that any one person should ever have to go through. In October of 2008, a surgeon out here had to remove my uterus in hopes of it helping the situation. Once he removed it (which he said was the worst looking uterus he had ever seen) and cleaned the endometreosis and adhesion's out, I started feeling a little better ~ pain wise.

Not too long following the hysterectomy, the pain was back as intense as ever and the cysts kept forming and rupturing. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. In August of 2010, the GYN department on post decided it was time to remove my ovaries. So, there we were again awaiting an oopherectomy. His plan was to remove my cervix at that time as well,  however due to the adhesion's and endometreosis that were still forming everywhere, he was unable to even get to my cervix. He let us know that I am a very complicated case and he is not qualified for it. He explained then that I would have to see a oncologist, because they have more experience in removing the cervix when it is under major complications. Looking back, I am glad he didn't even try, considering his incompetence placed me on my death bed... He was the one that did not cauterize the sites when he removed my ovaries. This left me bleeding internally and put me into kidney failure. When we went to the ER I was literally dying. Due to this, I now have permanent issues with my kidneys, went into kidney failure a second time in November, and have remained anemic, as well as many other issues. 

Since the surgery, I have felt better because I no longer have ovarian cysts. Sadly though, I still have a great amount of pain from my cervix. I was referred to Dr. Farnam ~ who is an AMAZING doctor that specializes in complicated GYN surgeries. I saw him a little over a week ago for my consult and he told me then that my cervix does indeed need to be removed. However, he did not promise it would alleviate all the issues and pain. Today he went into greater detail. What it boils down to is he will not know the severity of my situation until he has opened me up. This surgery could take thirty minutes or it could last over three hours. His goal is to remove my cervix and clean any adhesion's. If he sees that removing my cervix is too complicated from it being wrapped up in my colon, bladder, and whatever else he will have no other choice but to close me back up and schedule another surgery once I recover from this one. He was explaining that if my cervix is in too much of a complicated place, he will have to call in Dr. Gomez (my life saving surgeon last year when I went into kidney failure. If it weren't for him, I would not be here any longer). Dr. Gomez is an excellent surgeon that would work hand in hand with Dr. Farnam is needed in order to avoid bowel damages and to leave me with a colostomy bag. I love the fact that he knows what he is doing, yet is not too arrogant or does not have too much pride that he refuses to ask for assistance. If you want to look him up, his website is www.farnammd.com. Dr. Farnam also proceeded to tell me that if he could not remove my cervix, even with Dr. Gomez, then he would have no other choice than to refer me to the Mayo clinic next. Typically following this procedure, patients are sent home. With that being said, I will more than likely be kept in the hospital due to my medical problems and the complications that could arise. He is also very pissed with the incompetent doctors at Beaumont that allowed last year to happen and to see what it has done to me. Dr. Farnam also informed me that he cannot promise this will leave me pain free. Scary enough, all the damages done last year and over the last 15 years have more than likely left me with permanent pain in the pelvic and abdominal regions. He explained there is a very high chance that I will always be on pain meds and that there will be certain things I can never do or have to limit myself to...

My thoughts, well, I am scared because I have to undergo ANOTHER surgery. This makes 11 surgeries in 9 years. This makes 8 on my abdomen overall and the fourth surgery since last August, three of which have been abdominal and one spinal. While I am scared, I am also very angry and extremely tired of this. I hate the surgeries. I hate the medical problems that I have. I find myself angry a lot lately due to the fact that I can no longer have children and the ones I did have I had a real hard time carrying and they were all full of bedrest and pre-term labor, as well as other issues. I find myself wishing that I could be like many others and the reality that I can't do what others can breaks my heart. I see many take advantage of their good health, when they should be more grateful for it. Yet, through all of this, I find myself happy and beyond thankful to still be here and be alive, when I know that I shouldn't be after last year and the years prior to that. I just wish others understood that life has not been easy and I do have to fight for my health to remain stable. I have a lot more emotions to this all, but none that I am ready to share on here with everyone... At least not yet. I may be sometime very soon.....

What I ask of each of you reading, please just say a prayer for the complications to be minimal and for this to go without further dangers. As well as a prayer that I feel better from the spinal surgery I had in June very soon! We really need this to go as smooth as possible and for the recovery to go without issues. Thank you to the ones that have stayed by my side through all these health scares and issues. I would be lost without each of you. The more I know, the more I will update on here. Right now, I feel kind of at a loss for words out of the concern, fear, and pure exhaustion.

Thank you everyone!

What a Week

What a week we have had! Quite honestly, I remember bits and pieces from this past week after being drugged up on all the meds they sent me home with following surgery. Well, let me re-phrase that, the meds that I was put on at the ER. On Saturday hours after the surgery, the pain became so intense that Kevin had to take me to the ER to get me stronger pain pills. I ended up being prescribed types of pain pills, a muscle relaxer and phenegran to keep it all down. This is why I don't recall too much of that week. The couch has become my best friend, as it hurts to much to walk up the steps and it's the only place I can find a comfortable position. Pillows on all around my upper body and a body pillow that I am cuddling up to. FYI: I really miss sleeping in my bed next to my husband! I keep hoping that in the next couple of days I will be able to sleep upstairs. The pain is still pretty intense and the recovery harder than I ever anticipated. I am not able to sit because of the pain, when I do, I sit crooked. Thankfully, the kids were actually pretty well behaved and Kev was amazing with taking care of me throughout the week with him being home.

During the week, the kids constantly asked me if I needed anything. Every time I moved, someone was near me asking what I needed. I couldn't even head to the bathroom without being told to just stay where I was and let them take care of me. Sorry guys, this one is a little bit too personal for that. I told them unless they could empty my bladder then had to move. haha. I did end up back in the ER over the week for not being able to urinate for more than 24 hours. They put a catheter in to empty me out and there was a lot to empty. Then it took me about 15 more hours to be able to go on my own.

On Wednesday the girls made a tent in their room with blankets and slept on the floor. On Thursday they asked me if they could do it in the backyard and sleep there. They made the tent, but slept inside. I'm pretty sure the tent was just for them to play in. Real cute idea! I love how these three have amazing imaginations!

On Friday, they decided they wanted to make the tent again, only this time we broke out the two man tent and put it up in the backyard. Once up, they grabbed their sleeping bags, more blankets, pillows, flashlights, and other things and headed to the backyard for a night of camping out. To our surprise, they actually slept all night in the tent! Kevin and I never thought they would make it through the night. The next morning they could not stop talking about how awesome it was to camp in the backyard! Made us feel like awesome and cool parents! lol. They asked again for Saturday night, but that idea only lasted a few minutes before they realized they would rather stay in their room. Probably because of how dark it was...I wish I had taken more pics of this for them! Next time!!!

On Sunday, I felt like doing something with them for being so awesome and helpful during the week, so we made Edible Carrot Gardens. Way cute idea!  The carrot gardens we made from vanilla wafers as the sides and bottom, chocolate wafers or oreo style crushed cookies, orange Mike & Ikes, chocolate frosting to hold it together, and green licorice style candies. Super easy and fun for the kids! They get to eat it, so it doesn't take up crazy room in the house and the kids loved it! Great dessert!

Thank you so much for the ones that have stood by my side through the past week and the aftermath of the surgery! You guys are all amazing and I am so lucky to have each of you in my life. I love you all! Thanks for getting me through this crazy mess and keeping me positive. Thank you to my husband, for never letting me down and being more than I could have asked for during this time and always. I love you more than any amount of words can ever express!

Surgery on a Saturday

What a day full of craziness! I finally managed to fall asleep around two or so this morning and woke up to the dreaded sound of my alarm clock ringing at 3:45. Not a great way to start the day at all! By 4am, we were headed out the door and on the way to the hospital. I had to finish up my registration and check in. By 545 I was in the triage area and being prepped to go to the OR area. Kev and Nic were allowed to sit with me, even though they aren't suppose to, which kept me so much more calmer. I needed them with me before undergoing another surgical procedure. My nerves were a wreck this morning. Once we headed to the OR triage/recovery area, they allowed Kevin and Nic to continue staying with me until taken back to the operating room.

While in the OR triage, the anesthesiologist placed a patch behind my ear and went ahead and started me on phenegran because I ALWAYS end up so sick and vomiting everywhere after surgery from the anesthesia. This doc was awesome with the way he cared for me. He also gave me a different type of anesthesia for this surgery to help with me getting sick. This surgery was the first one that I woke up in just pain and NOT sick! Amazing difference. It hurts like crazy to vomit following a surgical procedure. When I woke up, couldn't open my eyes yet, but I was calling out in pain and asking for something for the pain I was in. Over the next couple of hours I had three or four injections and a couple pain pills. The pain did let up some, finally, and I was able to home after a few hours. One of the things that stands out with this hospital, the nurses, and surgical team was their generosity and hospitality. Every time I got up to use the restroom, I was welcomed back to my bed with fresh, warm blankets. How cool is that? They took off my old ones. The RN's wanted to make sure that I wasn't cold before and after the procedure. I have never seen medical staff like that.

We were able to leave the hospital around lunch time and made it home shortly after. While at home, I was able to catch ten to twenty minute naps, but nothing to amount to anything. Over a few hours the pain started to grow entirely too intense, so I finally broke down and called a nurse to ask questions. She then told me I needed to proceed to the ER in order to get my pain in control (which is why this wasn't posted yesterday). She also informed me that they should have kept me overnight to monitor my vitals and pain management. We went to Beaumont since they can place this in my records, but the nurse there told us to expect a six hour wait. Yes, you read quickly! Six hours.... There was no possible way I could even think about sitting that long. Just won't happening. So, we headed to Providence and I was in my room in about twenty minutes,

At Providence we found out that my blood pressure was way too low, so they had to give me more meds. They think it's because I can't seem to overcome the anemia from last year's surgery   Then they pumped me full of some pain meds and phenegran. Let me just tell you... pain was gone and I was out from being so drugged up. haha. They sent me home with phenegran to help control my sickness and three forms of pain meds to take. Have to keep this all under control.

Now, I am home and still hurting like crazy. The ER doctor explained to me that this surgery is one of the worst ones on the spine and takes a very long recovery. They had to actually cut through the bone. Ouch!

Thank you for all the prayers, comments, calls, texts, and support through all of this. Each of you that have been here for me are awesome and amazing! I have been so blessed to have each of you in my life and truthfully do not know what I would do without all of you!

And a HUGE thank you to my wonderful husband, Kevin and to our kids! You four have helped so much already and have been more than I could ask for. I would be lost without you guys and could never thank you enough. I love you guys!

All my love,
Britt

Anxiously Waiting

Here is is, 1230 and my body feels past the point of exhausted, yet there is no way to just shut my mind down. I have a million thoughts just racing through my head and the anticipation of surgery is beginning to eat away at me.  Earlier today I found myself literally in tears because I am just so tired of all these health problems. I am 28 years old and have had multiple surgeries and issues. I have spent many weeks in the hospitals. I have undergone more procedures and tests than I could ever remember. Looking in the mirror I always see scars that are a constant reminder of surgeries. The way I feel more days than one should be allowed to, whether in pain or just not well, is a constant reminder of the fact that I can't get up and go like people my age, like I use to. So much has changed and so many things will never be as they once were.

I am feeling all over the place as I write this. My mind is running rancid and honestly, I find myself scared over another surgery. Yes, this is a spinal one and the type it is has very limited worries to it. With that being said, I can't help but to struggle with the fears after the last surgery ended up the way it did. For those of you who are not aware of what I am referring to, click kidney failure (august) and kidney failure (November). I keep telling myself that my strength, belief in God, and close family, friends, and all the prayers combined are what kept me here and have kept me going. It hasn't been easy since August, but I am here. There is still some of me that is trying to recover. Like, I am still anemic. I am not sure that will ever change. It really takes a toll on me some days. My kidneys aren't what they use to be, nor will they ever be again. I have to watch what I eat, drink, and what medications I put into my body in order to keep my kidneys functioning. I had never even had a kidney infection before August.... So I can't help but to find myself fearing this surgery.....

Thank you friends and family that have been by my side through all of this. Not just here and there or day before or when convenient... but through everything. I can never express what your prayers and concerns mean to me and my family. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys have kept me pushing and striving to always keep going. You have kept the positive side in me when I have felt it crashing. Thank you.

I will update on here as soon as I feel up to it.

I love you all!

At a Loss

I should be working on a test right now for a course that I have a little over a week to complete, yet here I am, unable to focus any attention of what I should be doing. Instead, I am thoughts, worries, fears, and pure anger are taking over tonight. I want to cry. I want to throw things. I want to shout at the world that life just doesn't seem fair and that this woman that stands at barely 5'3" and weighs a little over 115 pounds just can't take on anything else. Yet, here I am. As much as I just want to break... I won't. I don't really know how. 

As grateful as I am when it comes to all I have in life and I much as I cherish the smallest things, I don't understand why I cannot just catch a break from upsetting things. I don't even know where to go from here or how long this will be. So, please forgive me should this go astray. I am just at a loss right now. There is just so much going on and even more to accept as I take it all on. 

Kevin just went through a surgical procedure to remove another cancerous spot from his face. The good news is that the surgeon did an excellent job in the procedure and his scar looks AMAZING! I am so happy over this. He was stressed and worried due to having his cheek cut open and because of the fact his arms already make his subconscious enough. In case you are not aware, in 2007 he was hit during a mission and thrown from the turret out into open ground. During this he was knocked unconscious and suffered from TBI, a broken elbow, and severe nerve damage. In 2009 he was sent home a little past midway during another deployment. He was unable to do certain things and could not function properly. It was to the point he had no feeling in either hand and was considered paralyzed. He had to undergo two surgeries, one on each arm to cut nerves, replace things, and move nerves around. Over time he was able to open and close his hands again and slowly regain feeling. However, his right arm and hand didn't heal properly and it is falling back to how it was before the surgery. He has no strength in his hand and struggles at time. He still does not have the feeling back. With this being said, the scars on each arm take up the majority of the arm. We were just informed this past week that he will more than likely have to under go another surgery on his right arm. We should find out more soon. He is also being scheduled for his disk replacement in his neck within the next few weeks. I am trying not to worry to much about this surgery, but it's not working. He can't turn his head to the left very far and is in constant pain. He neck started to show too much curvature in 2007 during the deployment in Mosul and has gradually gotten a lot worse. After injections, physical therapy, acupuncture, and chiro appointments, the only option is the surgery. He is very ready for it to happen and ready to get past the recovery. They say the first few days will be difficult and after that it is more about the muscles in that area re-adjusting to his neck being in a better condition. Within a couple months he will go from being sore and pain to out of nowhere, able to move better than he has in years. It will just happen. I can't wait for him to be out of pain and able to move his head better!

I am still waiting to be scheduled for the surgery on my lower spine/tail bone region. They have to remove a piece of my spine from where I fell and broke my tail bone a couple years back. It never healed and is causing terrible inflammation and pain throughout my lower spine. They may also have to readjust it all while they are in there. We won't know to what extent until after the surgery. The recovery will take about a year, the first month being the most difficult.

On Friday I was informed that I have to undergo ANOTHER abdominal surgery sometime soon. Yes, you read that right...another one. There have been way too many! This one is to remove my cervix. Hell, everything else has been removed, so maybe this will take care of the issues. Who knows though. When I had to go through the oopherectomy in August (removal of ovaries), they were unable to get to my cervix because of the endometreosis and adhesions (which now I have some sort of adhesion disease?). My cervix is wrapped up and connected to other organs and my abdominal wall. To do this surgery is a very high risk thing and takes a highly qualified surgeon to perform. There is a chance of bowel and intestinal damages, but without the surgery I will get a lot worse. We really have no other option at this point. I have been referred to a GYN oncologist who is very qualified to perform this and is not a military doctor. As most of you know, I almost lost my life last year because of an incompetent surgical team at a military hospital. You can read more about this situation here. 

I am also scheduled for another colonoscopy this coming Thursday due to many issues. In November I was admitted back into the hospital for a week due to kidney failure (again) and found out that I had multiple kidney stones and colitis. Since I was diagnosed with colitis I had to go through a colonoscopy. During this time, they found out that I had ulcers that were bleeding and a tumor. With this, I have had some issues since then, ones that I don't care to go into right now, and have to go through the procedure again. The doc is concerned that there may be more to it than originally thought. Of course, following the procedure on Thursday I will know more. 

So, aside from the many procedures I have had to undergo, this coming surgery makes ten surgeries overall and the back will make eleven....

This will be the: 

8th surgery on my stomach since 2001

5th full open abdominal incision (3 were c-sections)(since 2001)

3rd since August 2010 (the other two were laparoscopy's)

They say this one will be difficult in every aspect, even recovery. More so than the others because of what all has to be done and because of the pure fact I will now be cut open five times in the same spot. This is a high risk and major surgery. 

Needless to say... No, I am not doing okay with any of it. I am tired of being cut open. I am tired of crappy health. I am tired of surgeries. I am tired of doctors. I hate it all. I just want health like the majority of others my age. I want to feel good and live a normal life. I am so damn tired of things being taken from me and it pisses me off that I cannot live in ways that a 28 year old should be able to. I am angry over the fact that my life was almost cut short last year and from that I am now limited to so many things. It's not fair. 

No, I am not being rude or ungrateful. To know me, you would know that I am one of the most appreciative people around. But, you know what... I am allowed and entitled to feel as I do. Until you walk in my shoes, please refrain from judging me, my feeling, or things I say. Please don't preach to me on the fact that I am still alive. I know this and am very aware of it all. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for allowing me to stay here. I have a good life with my husband and kids! There is not a single day I take for granted. I never have. Life is a gift and I cherish and enjoy every part of it... even times like now. Yet, that doesn't make any of this right.

It's not right that right now, I need people to be here and to let me cry and vent. Right now I need my family and friends. Right now, once again, I am learning that it's easier for people to brush this off rather than to pick up the phone and call. I am learning again that even with the severity of my husbands PTSD and other issues, he is my main support in life. I don't think I could get through any of this without him by my side... My kids, Kevin, and a few other people keep me going and pushing. We all know that none of this will keep me down for long, because I won't let it. But, right now, in this moment, I feel weaker than I normally do and I don't know what to do. The ones I thought I could turn to, that I have always been here for, have obviously turn the other way. I guess when it is easier to be there for someone when they are going through good things in life and not so much when things get difficult. Though, I have heard quite a few times that if I weren't so far away they could be here for me. Hmmm.... not exactly sure why or how distance can make such a difference. I have never let distance become the reason of not being here for someone that I love and care about. I suppose that is just me though. Distance should never be an obstacle on things in life. I guess I would rather learn this now, than later though. 

Kev's PTSD and TBI leaves us with good days, but it has us facing many difficult days. Seems lately he has been having many bad moments throughout the day and nightmares again. I have learned the signs and the triggers, not all of course, but many. I now know how to handle the kids should one strike and how to handle him. Still, it doesn't make it easier to see him face these battles.... To see us face them, I should say. It angers me to see how lightly many people take combat injuries. It's like it you can't physically see the injury on a person, then it didn't occur. Not even close to the truth... El Paso is breaking him down more and more by the day. There are too many things about this city and the people that leave him fighting flashbacks and hard times. I hate this city because of the struggles I see first hand. I cannot wait to get him and our children away from here and into the quiet little town that we have decided on. It can't come soon enough. 

I just feel at a loss in the moment that I am in and pray for strength to get through it all. I have to and with a smile on my face. Thank you to the ones that have remained by my side every step of the way. There are a couple of you that stay by my side, good or bad. I cannot thank you enough. I am sure I will update more in the next few days. I know I have neglected writing the past few days, but I have had a lot to take in. 

As always, thank you for reading and feel free to comment or email!

                                                                                                                       ~♥~  Britt

Closing Another Chapter in Life

The time has come to close one chapter in my life, yet I now have the opportunity to open a new one while looking forward to the adventures that lie ahead of me and my family. What a year 27 was! It left me on many emotional roller coasters, fighting for my life, praying for my husbands health, going through the ups and downs of raising kids and so much more.  There are no words that I can possibly use to narrow it down to one word in order to describe this past year, other than grateful. With saying that, grateful would be an understatement.

Nine months ago today, I went in for a common ~ but not so common, abdominal surgery. This surgery was to help take control of a lot of female problems I have had for years and put me in a place of enjoying life again. I had to have a hysterectomy in October of 2008, yet my ovaries were not removed. Needless to say, things got worse with my health and the only option I had was to have my ovaries removed. So at the age of 27, I was sent into surgical menopause, which for those who don't know, if by far a lot worse than going through menopause naturally. It doesn't slowly come on, instead, menopause hits immediately and it hits in full swing. Due to complications and incompetence of the surgical team, four days after the surgery I was admitted into a civilian hospital due to internal bleeding and kidney failure from the sites not being cauterized. I layed in a hospital bed, looking death in the face, and praying harder than I had ever prayed before. The only thing I could process was, I have three kids at home and a husband holding me that all need me. It's not my time. I begged God to just spare my life and to let me keep living. At first the doctors could not even guarantee an outcome and kept telling us that I should be dead. They told me many times that any other person would have not made it as long as I did and they were amazed that I was still alive. Talk about an eyeopener. Following a second surgery (emergency) in six days (six abdominal incision sites) and sent home with a JP drain, I swore to never again take life or anything for granted. Not even three months later I was readmitted for another bout of kidney failure and spent another week praying for my life. My life has changed is such drastic ways and I can no longer do things that I use to, which I have come to accept. I tire very quickly and have many "days" that leave me very limited to what I can and can't do. Yet, being able to celebrate not only my birthday, but Mother's Day (yesterday) as well, I am left feeling blessed and knowing that God has plans for me and my family. There is a reason I am still here, though we may never know the reason.

Aside from my surgeries, I am still faced with my other health issues that of course have me life dependent on medications. Those too have seen many roller coaster type days and weeks.

As if my problems were not enough for our family to take on, we were also faced with the MEB (Medical Evaluation Board) process coming into play. Due to PTSD, TBI, and other combat related injuries, Kevin's doctors started to process to have him medically discharged (retired) from the Army. Talk about an unexpected change to our future plans. As I write this, all we know is that he will be out of the army by the end of the year. Past that, keep following on here in hopes of a date! NO DATE OR INFO YET! Sorry, that's all that I can tell you at this point. Kev was also diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma, a skin cancer. Which he has been fighting since it was discovered and has undergone multiple procedures, from chemo to laser therapy and the most recent, surgery. Which, by the way, the incision site looks AMAZING! He has also had battles with Degenerative Disc Disease, bone spurs, crushed vertebrae, nerve damage....and I could go on and on. This is just not the post to give all the details in. Soon, though! Very soon.

So, here I am, now 28 and one day away from my second colonoscopy in six months because of the colitis I developed in November when my kidneys failed the second time, at which a tumor was discovered. After testing, we found out that it is benign. Tomorrow, around lunch time, I have to be back at the hospital in order to go through this all over again to see what has happened with the tumor over the months that have passed, as well the doctor discover what else is going on with the intestinal area. There is still a lot more going on with me medically, just none of which I want to share until I know further and definite details.

Let's all pray for a better year as I gracefully have decided to welcome 28 into my life. Not that I had too much of a choice on it's arrival or not. But, I'm 28 and have been through hell, learned a lot in my life, and have a lot to be forever grateful over. I have learned how short life can truly be and how to cherish the good and amazing times, take the bad and make the most out of it. There is still a lot I have to work through and a lot that I pray turns out to be okay. But, as always, I will continue to push through it all, at times stronger than others.

Thank you to everyone that has made turning 28 such an amazing thing!