My Heart Just Aches

Over the past couple of weeks my inbox on Facebook has become overwhelmingly full of the Breast Cancer Awareness emails that we are all so familiar with. As we all know Breast Cancer Awareness month is next month and FB female friends always get a jump start in September playing the "update your status with..." email game. Typically the emails consist of the color or something or where do you like to keep your purse with an answer that sounds somewhat sexual. It always raises eyebrows of the men and giggles from the women. Well, this year it seems to raise a little more than good humor in smiles in some women. I for one have no desire or interest to even play along this year. As always, I will speak my mind in hopes to raise awareness for Breast Cancer because it holds a special place in my heart. It has run through my family like crazy, Kevin's grandmother passed away from it when he was two, and in 2006 my best friend was by his mothers side as she passed away after battling cancer off and on for years! However the game this year is asking for women to write their status as... "I'm (your birthday month) and craving (your birthdate that ends up being coded with candy/food)" which to the majority would imply you are expecting.  Notice right below to see the email I am referring to, then below where I continue with my thoughts...


It’s that time of year again in support of Breast Cancer Awareness! We all remember last years game of writing your bra color as your status? or the way we like to have our handbag handy?

Remember last year so many people took part that it made national news and the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!

DO NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing And please Broadcast this to all ur female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year

I did my part… So now its YOUR turn!

The idea is to choose the month You were born and the day you were born. Pass this on to the girls only and lets see how far it reaches around. The last one about the bra went round the world.

So you’ll write… I’m (your birth month) weeks and I’m craving (your birth date) !!! as your status

Example: Feb 14th= I’m 2 weeks and craving Choclolate mints!!


So, after reading this, maybe some of you can instantly see my reasons on not taking part in any of this. It is a slap in the face to those of us that want (more) children, yet are not able to have them. "Hello, I am 28 years old, a mother of three (thankfully!) while enduring incredibly high risk pregnancies, with major medical problems that has led to an extreme amount of surgeries, intense chronic pain, and never again being able to experience pregnancy, growth, and the delivery of a precious newborn." Can I place that as my status? Probably not because it would rub people the wrong way.  Instead, we have to look for a way to adopt a newborn, which many of us know is a very complicated process. There is no way I could put this implication on my status while trying to raise awareness. I had many surgeries with many complications, almost costing me my life, in order to have a full hysterectomy in order to save my life in the end. There is nothing right about any of this. What I would do for another baby and how my heart just aches for that little one....

What about the ones who are capable of having children, yet have not at this point, and place this on their status? Is it right for families and friends to read so much into it and become filled with joy and pure happiness and more excitement than they know what to do with it all because they instantly think someone is pregnant? Why is it acceptable to toy with the emotions of others by placing this as a status? I know there are others like me that see this and their hearts just sink because there are so many actively playing along with this, probably not seeing the harm in any of it because we know that it would not be done intentionally. Yet, it does not help to ease the pain or sinking feeling to ones that are in the shoes that I am in or ones that have never been blessed with having a child.

In the end, this is just not something I agree with as a way to raise awareness for Breast Cancer. There are many more ways to do such a a thing. 

If You Still Had Your Funny Bone....

As many of you know, Kevin had to undergo a surgery on each arm at the end of 2009 from injuries sustained while deployed in 2007. Long story short, he was thrown from the turret while gunning and broke his elbow, has permanent TBI, had a gash on his head and has nerve damage. The surgeries that were performed were Bilateral Ulnar Nerve Replacement.  The Ulnar Nerve is a nerve that travels from the wrist the the shoulder. They had to cut and remove the nerve around the elbow to wrist area. He also has muscle atrophy from this, or as we know muscle deterioration. Kev had lost most all movement and feeling in both hands before the surgery. Now, he lacks strength in pushing, but has strength in pulling and grasping.

When it comes to to the kids, we tend to try to make things as easy as possible for the kids to understand. So, just as when Kev was set to deploy the first time, we explained to the little ones that he was going to Iraq to make the bad guys nice. Seems like a good way for the kids to understand what he was doing instead of outright telling them the exact truth. So, when the surgeries in 2009 occurred, Kevin told the girls that he broke his funny bone and had to have it removed.... I am sure many of you can already see where this is going...

The other day, Kevin and Breanna ended up having to drive to the store for something we needed and he was in one of "those" moods because it had been one of "those" type days. Out of nowhere, Bre looks at Kevin and says, "If you still had your funny bone maybe you wouldn't be so grumpy..." All he could do was laugh at that one. Straight from the mouth of a child.....

Congratulations......

After reading through emails and comments of people entering the UPrinting.com giveaway, I would like to announce the winner....

Congratulations Kari Robinson!

Kari has two sons that were each diagnosed with Eosinophilic Esophagitis, or EE as many of us hear. Eosinophilic Esophagitis is a condition due to an allergy condition that leads to inflammation of the esophagus. With her children, it is due to different types of foods. Both boys have had to undergo multiple surgeries and procedures, they have had the feeding "button" placed in their belly buttons, and have had to give up many things that young children should never have to. This has of course taken a toll on the Robinson family, yet Kari manages to keep a smile and always makes sure her boys are happy and well taken care of. Since learning about EE, Kari has stepped up and tried to raise as much awareness as she can and plans to do so even more with the 250 2x3.5 stickers from this giveaway. 

To read more about Kari and her families ups and downs as well as more on EE, please read her blog at http://lifeofthebreedenfamily.blogspot.com//

Thank you   http://www.giveawayblogs.com/ and http://www.uprinting.com/ !

Five Day Catch-up

We did it! We managed to survive the first week of school with children now in pre-k, third, and fourth grades! What a week of ups and downs it has been dealing with school, as well as my recovery!

The girls are riding the bus in the mornings as well as the afternoon, with Nic riding with them in the afternoon. His days are only half days this year. There is also a bus that comes through the neighborhood around eleven every morning to take the little ones in Pre-K to school. He thinks he is hot stuff this year! Every morning, Nic loads up on the pre-k bus he smiles tells me he loves me, gives me a hug and is off to school. My heart aches as he goes about the same routine every day. It aches because my baby is no longer a baby, he is getting bigger by the day. It leaves me wondering where the past four years have gone... How has time gone so quickly that he is now a pre-school child, full of energy, very talkative, and always into something? It seems like yesterday that I was on the phone with Kevin, trembling that he would be so upset, as I told him I was at the doctor and he instantly put it together. His response, "Are we?". Once I confirmed, that yes, we were having another baby, he was full of joy and pride. Complete opposite of what I had expected. It seems like yesterday that we were bringing our little man home and starting a new life with him. Now here we are, off to his exploring new things! Absolutely amazing!

The kids all have fantastic teachers...well, at least at this point. So far they seem to be great teachers. We all know how quickly that can change once everyone finds their comfort zones in school! Breanna is showing interest in everything this year is already showing. She loves her new teacher and the class that she is in. It looks as though she may be trying out for chorus in the upcoming weeks!  Caitlin is starting tutoring after school, two days a week in two weeks. We are very pleased the teacher has already showed such interest in her and her well being and are praying this school year is more successful than the ones in the past. Nicholas LOVES going to school, learning, and making new friends. He is already showing improvements in the learning department!

Kevin is recovering fabulously from his spinal surgery! The difference is quite amazing and it is obvious that he is feeling somewhat better. He can turn his head left and right without the grinding from before. As with everything, it is day to day. The pain is still there, but he can tell many changes. Just as we all can. Even in the way he stands, he no longer has the bump that he use to at the base of his neck area.

I saw the surgeon yesterday and am still on a limited list of things I can do. There really isn't much I can do. Since he removed my cervix, we now have to make sure I heal completely. The cervix holds organs in, since I no longer have it they had to close it all up (while inside, they stitched) in order to prevent the "fall out". The surgeon also went into more detail about things. The surgery last year really messed me up and left more complications, as stated in a post before this one. The part of the ovary that was left played a major factor in the pain and complications of this past year. It was the reason I had a constant pain up to the stabbing, doubled over feeling. This as well as the adhesion's and my cervix issues. He was in disbelief over exactly how bad I was and the complications that existed. I just feel incredibly lucky and blessed that I have an amazing surgeon and would recommend him to anyone! He listens, he cares, and he is dang good at what he does! Dr. Farnam walked into the exam room and the first thing out of his mouth is, "Hey! How is my problem child today?" We couldn't help but to smile over this! Apparently, I am one of the worst cases.... Hmmmm.... Not too surprised on that one! I am sure I will have more to say on this situation later next week once I have time to take things in a little more. I am doing well, as well as one can be with circumstances. I am officially in full blown surgical menopause... and let me just tell you all.... IT SUCKS!!!! Hot flashes are no joke! Overall, I am just incredibly thankful for the surgeon that I have and the amazing job that he did!

Thank you to all that have supported us and stayed by my side through the difficult and complicated time. I love each of you and am incredibly blessed to have you each in my life!

This little guy is just not use to such a busy day....

UPrinting Giveaway

I am hosting a Giveaway on behalf of UPrinting

Here are the Prize Details:


250 Personalized Stickers for One (1) Winner
2" x 3.5"
70lb Label Matte, Front Only Printing, 4 Business Days Turnaround
(Restriction: Limited to US residents 18 years old and above only)




Think of how useful these stickers can be when you can upload your own, personal image and have that printed into personalized stickers! 


The winner will be randomly chosen on Wednesday, August 31, 2011
and announced on Thursday, September 1, 2011.


To Enter, Please do the following:


1. Follow me on Biddle Buzz, if you aren't already. 
(Located on the right side under Biddle Buzz Followers)


2. Add an interesting comment, stating what you would do with the stickers if you were to win.


3. Tell fellow bloggers about my giveaway on your blogs, Facebook, and Twitter by linking back to my Giveaway.
(Please leave a comment below with the link so that I know where to look)




You can find UPrinting 
on 
Facebook and Twitter


Don't forget to check out their full services for great deals on Personalized Stickers, Product Templates, and Printing Services on many different projects you may be working on!

Disclaimer: This giveaway is sponsored by UPrinting, no monetary compensation was given and I will receive stickers for hosting. Check out product templates and printing services on UPrinting.com

After Britt's Surgery Update

As most know, I had to undergo another abdominal/pelvic surgery six days ago, on Wednesday (August 17, 2011). The surgery was expected to hold many complications, but not as many as it ended up having. Dr. Farnam, my surgeon, was not too sure if he would be able to remove my cervix, or if this would lead to more surgeries, because he was limited to the information on what all was going on with me since the Army has it all.

I ended up going into surgery a little earlier that what was scheduled, which now is an excellent thing! The typical 30-45 minute surgery that I went in for ended up taking over 3.5 hours. Talk about complications. When Dr. Farnam made the incisions, he explained afterwards, that I was more covered in adhesion's than I should be. Too many within a year period and this explained all the pain that I was in. However, it also left a lot of questions as to what in the world the surgeon last year was honestly doing when her removed my ovaries. It took the my surgeon over an hour and a half just to cut through and clean the adhesion's out and yes, he did make the final diagnosis of my adhesive disease that I am now stuck with. This means there will more than likely be more surgeries in the future as a clean out and hopefully nothing more. At some point, pieces of my ovaries were found still in my pelvic cavity. Yes, you read right.... Which explains why the ER doctor kept telling me that I had ovarian cyst even after I argued that my ovaries were removed. This may also be why I have not felt well at all, even while on my estrogen. Then it took more time to separate my cervix from my sigmoid colon. The two were tapered together and in poor condition. While separating, they did run into a small  problem with a tear in my colon that was repaired right away. Gas was used to fill my colon in order to make sure there was no leakage. Thankfully, Dr. Farnam did an awesome job! After that, he went on to remove my cervix. As I said earlier, what should have taken under an hour, ended up lasting over three and a half hours due to all the complications.  I see Dr. Farnam later this week to find out more details of the surgery and what all was found. At this point, I am really not too sure what to even think. He was able to confirm how much the surgeon at Beaumont really jacked me up and to be honest, I still have not been able to process it all yet... I am really upset over it and have tried to not think about it this week. With all the adhesion's and ovary pieces, I can't help but to wonder what he really did last year, besides almost cost me my life on different occasions.

This surgery was much more painful that I ever expected and there were times I found it very hard to breathe. It has taken a toll on my body, emotionally and physically, and honestly right now I am just trying to maintain a busy life. I have been home since the day after, Thursday, and have been taking it easy for the most part. Okay, and I have been absolutely bored out of my mind. Yet, I have managed to keep my word this time around and do pretty much nothing at all during this recovery time! You should all be so incredibly proud, because this is seriously hard to do for me! Kevin has been a wonderful help. David, Kev's dad, happened to come in town over the weekend. Which, this of course, was a wonderful distraction away from the surgery, with the exception of the fact I felt horrible for not being able to do anything at all but sit around the house. I am on a two week do nothing at all schedule. No lifting, bending, picking things up, or anything really other than sitting on the couch. Oh, and I can't drive for at least the first two weeks. Thank God for my baby laptop! I'd be real lost without it. Especially since my cell phone fell into the bathtub and the bottom button no longer works. If you have an IPhone, you know exactly how annoying this is. I have to turn it off and back on just to get into a different file! Once my two weeks is up, I can slowly start doing things again. I still have to take it extremely easy until I am past the eight week mark on recovery. Only seven more to go!

Thank you to all that have been here helping me get through this time. Thank you to the family and friends that I may not talk to everyday, yet you have been full of thoughts, prayers, messages, and calls throughout this past week. I can never explain exactly what this has meant to me. It goes to show that we don't have to talk everyday in order to always be here for each other! I love you all and am very blessed to have you all in my life!

 Thank you to my girls that I have been blessed with through FOV! You ladies NEVER let me down and never let me go through anything alone! Y'all are absolutely amazing and I'd be lost you in my life. What went from "co-workers" has turned into lifelong friends. Thank you for being who you are and I love each of you so very much!  You guys mean more to me than any amount of words could ever say!

And of course, thank you to the most amazing husband and children a girl could ever wish and hope for. I have been incredibly lucky and more blessed than I probably deserve. Thank you Kevin for always staying by my side and sticking by me through everything in life. I love you and our kids more than the air I breathe and cannot wait to see what life has in store for us, especially with the upcoming changes that are soon about to take place! I love you with every ounce of my being!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you... and many, many more Thank You's to my family at FamilyOfaVet.com, Hillary, and Joanna for sending me such beautiful flowers, cards, candy, and cookies! All of them are absolutely amazing and beautiful! You all know exactly how to make a girl feel incredibly special! I love you guys! ***Sorry Jo, the cookies were opened before I could ever take a picture of them! Kids, lol. They are all very tasty!***

"That is so Stupid..."

We are all way too familiar with the commercials that will bring a smile to our face or that we have no interest in. Yet, there are few commercials that will actually become worthy of us talking about once we see it, that stick in the back of our mind, or even better.... make us laugh!!!

With that being said, Kevin and I laugh every time we see one of the Hanes socks commercials. I am sure if you watch television, you have seen this cute and funny commercial. It's the one where the dad and son are standing in the living room dipping the little boys feet in paste because they need socks. The mom walks in with a look of anything other than being too surprised of their actions as she watches the paste dripping from the sons feet as the dad and son state that they are "just sick of it". All the mom can say at first is "That is so stupid" Kevin tells me all the time that would be the exact expression and statement I would have and make... Wonder why? Probably because it is something I have said or an expression I have carried as I have heard and seen the ludicrous things Kevin and Nic try to come up with. My guys are crazy! Haha. Yet, they keep everyday life very entertaining and full of smiles!