Movie-Bumming Kind of Weekend

Lauren came into to town this past weekend!!!!!!!!!

On Friday, around lunchtime, I picked up one of my closest friends, Lauren from the airport and our weekend was started! We spent Friday evening looking at houses in the El Paso area, then headed home to get ready for a girls night out. We spent the evening out with Tasha and watching the newest Planet of the Apes movie that just came out. It was so much better than any of us expected. Following that, we all headed back to our house and crashed out for the night. Tasha has been staying with us as she waits to deploy sometime next week.

On Saturday we pretty much bummed it around the house and out in El Paso for a bit. We headed to the mall in search for Lauren a new hair straightener and some slippers (cute pink pig ones!), then we caught a matinee movie, The Change Up. Following the movie we decided to donate blood for a free movie pass and because it holds a special place with me after last year. United Blood had a donation bus in front of the theater. Let's just say that was not the best idea over the weekend! A little more than half way through, Lauren started to feel incredibly sick. Luckily she never passed out or anything. However, I did great through the donation and wonderful for the first almost fifteen minutes. Then out of nowhere, it all hit me and I started to slip in and out before finally fainting two times. No one understood why it took that long to hit me and were concerned with my medical issues. As you can see, that was by far the worst idea on my part! We did get to use our free movie passes that night and saw Friends with Benefits... not a good movie. We were let down after hearing from others how great and funny the movie was supposed to be. The Change Up, on the other hand, was awesome and very funny! It is a must see for most people. However, if you are easily offended with bad language, stay away from this one! Lauren and I witnessed an elderly woman that was by herself leave within the first ten minutes due to the vulgar language! Now, you can't say I didn't warn you! We were amazed that parents actually allowed their children to see this movie...with them!!!! It really made me question parenting styles. We loved the movie and spent a lot of time laughing!

Then came Sunday.... oh, how it came just a little too soon! The weekend seemed to fly by, but it was a much needed one for the both of us. I was sad to see Lauren leave, but am excited that we are planning another weekend fairly soon, for her to come back out!

Thank you Lauren for flying out here and spending the weekend with me! It was great to see you and I already miss you tons! Love you girl!

Crazy girl... Right before our movie!

Hanging out in the garage with Lauren and Tasha

4/1 AD Deploys Again....

The weekend before last we bid our farewells and well wishes to amazing soldiers as we watched them walk out of the gym and load the dreaded blue and white buses. The time has come again to see 4/1 AD off to combat and spend the next year praying for their safe return home.....

These are the ones that Kevin has deployed with twice over the past five years. In five years, many of them have headed into their third deployment from Fort Bliss. Many have stayed side by side through it all. They have seen and lived through the true reality and hell of war. They have witnessed and done more than most can every even imagine.... Their deployments have left them with a lot of heartache and hard times, a lot they wished they could just forget.

As most know, Kevin is not deploying because he is being medically discharged from the army due to combat injuries.... mentally and physically. He has also had a few surgeries from injuries that occurred while in Iraq during both deployments. My husband is not at all the same man that we sent to war a few years ago. Iraq took a part of him that I will never get back.

The last weekend of July was spent seeing our friends, who are more like family, off to war. It was spent with Kevin telling other NCO's to watch after certain individuals because this was their first and they are still so young. They were his soldiers. It was spent telling them to maintain their focus and keep their eyes open. It was spent hugging many and crying. The tears come out of the fear of the unknown... What will this next year bring?

Walking through the gym, my heart just ached uncontrollably. I watched as dads refused to put down their newborns, as children smiled up at their parent in uniform stealing their hearts away, as pregnant wives clung to and held their soldier close....knowing their husband would not make it back home in time for the birth of their child. Children were running around, laughing and smiling, not at the age to comprehend what the day was about or the fact it would be so many months before they saw their parent again. Wives held their soldier close, not wanting to let them go. Husbands clung to their wives as though they were the only ones that could hold them up. I was a onlooker, that had no control over my tears as they flowed down my face. The emotions are ones that I can't explain to you, you have to live this life and have been through the deployments to understand. I stood there, knowing how these people felt and yet, even though I knew that I wouldn't have to do it again, I felt incredibly helpless.

As selfishly as it sounds, I stood back as Kevin was shaking hands and hugging his guys, tears in their eyes as well as mine, praying for their safe return....yet thankful that this time I was not sending my husband off to war. I feel horrible for even admitting to this. We have had so many close calls over during the deployments that I can't help to be relieved that he is staying home, that his day of getting out of the army is so close. It's not that I couldn't handle another deployment... It's the fear of not knowing what the year holds, it's the sickening feeling every time someone knocks on the door or a number I have never seen shows up on my caller ID. It's him seeing the children grow up in pictures and the little ones begging me to make their daddy come home. It's a mixture of everything. Yet, I stood there watching him send his brothers off to war, and I felt like he should be going with them. Hell, he felt the exact same way. How could he not? I have now seen him struggle with the reality of knowing that he is getting out and will not be deploying again. He feels his place is overseas with them, yet knows that he can no longer handle the deployments for many reasons. One of the biggest is that he is not able to even wear the gear due to his injuries.

My heart ached for him. It crushed me to see him tearing up and hugging the soldiers that he has fought, bled, trained beside and so much more. The bond they have is one of the most amazing ones that anyone could ever experience. Yet, it makes sense. How could any of us bond like that when we have not had to go through combat such as they have?

As the guys were walking out through the gym doors following family time, I saw many expressions on their faces. It was easy to pin point the ones that have done this multiple times to the ones that were leaving for their first deployments and felt invincible in a way. It was easy to spot the ones that were leaving for the first time and the reality of war was already setting in. To see such young people with fear all over their faces brought back the tears. To see the ones we love leave again, brought on even more tears.

Here we are, a little more than a week after seeing them off, and a little over a week from them heading into Iraq from Kuwait. For the past week we have had one of our close friends, Tasha staying with us as she awaits her deployment day. Again, I am not ready to do this. Her deployment day seems to be sneaking up on us. How I wish I could just stop time....

Now, I would like to take the time to ask each of you to PLEASE say a prayer now and continue praying for 4/1 AD as they get into country and begin this deployment. Pray for their families left behind holding up the homefront. Pray for their safety and well beings. Look at your family and hold them close because others selflessly deploy and all will in many ways pay the price of freedom....some may pay the ultimate sacrifice... Cherish the moments in your life, large and small....

To the ones we saw off, know that we love each of you and will be here when you step off the planes! Stay alert and never lose your focus! Come home safely!!! Not a day will go by that we won't say prayers!

Kahlil and Kevin are in the larger pic. They have deployed together twice and been through hell together. The kids are standing in a photo with Justin. This is his first time over. The rest are of Kev seeing his buddies off.

We love you guys!

Notice Anything?

Just the other day I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator just as I always do, in search of something to drink. As I was looking, something caught my attention that was mysteriously out of place on the shelf towards the bottom.....

Notice anything out of place?

As I stood there trying to figure out why in the world there was a water bottle that would belong to an animal in our refrigerator, the kids came in wanting something to eat. No surprise, but I completely forgot about the bottle as my attention was pulled in a different direction, closed the door, and made lunch.

Still, why was there a caged animals water bottle, filled with water, in the refrigerator door???

Later on in the day after I stumbled across the filled bottle, I managed to get lost in other things around the house when I heard someone messing around in the kitchen. When I walked around the corner, into the kitchen, this is what I found..................................

 Aha, now it all came to me on why we had an animal water bottle filled to the top, and keeping cold. Nicholas has discovered that he can successfully drink from this object. Now, should I be concerned? Had he been our first, then I am sure I would have been. Yet, with the things that I have seen from the other two, nothing really catches me too off guard. Still, what was he thinking? Over the next couple of days, we noticed no matter where we tried to hide this bottle, he would find it. Sadly enough, we would hear him drinking from this bottle and he sounded just like an animal would. Oh, and YES, the bottle is clean and has never been used, other than with Nicholas drinking out of it! 

Here We Go Again... Another Abdominal Surgery....

This afternoon was spent at the surgeons office, to receive the official news, in which we already expected, that I DO in fact have to undergo another pelvic surgery. As most of you may know, for years I have had issues and health problems in the female region due to endometreosis and ovarian cysts. I have also had multiple surgeries on my pelvic/abdominal area. More so that any one person should ever have to go through. In October of 2008, a surgeon out here had to remove my uterus in hopes of it helping the situation. Once he removed it (which he said was the worst looking uterus he had ever seen) and cleaned the endometreosis and adhesion's out, I started feeling a little better ~ pain wise.

Not too long following the hysterectomy, the pain was back as intense as ever and the cysts kept forming and rupturing. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. In August of 2010, the GYN department on post decided it was time to remove my ovaries. So, there we were again awaiting an oopherectomy. His plan was to remove my cervix at that time as well,  however due to the adhesion's and endometreosis that were still forming everywhere, he was unable to even get to my cervix. He let us know that I am a very complicated case and he is not qualified for it. He explained then that I would have to see a oncologist, because they have more experience in removing the cervix when it is under major complications. Looking back, I am glad he didn't even try, considering his incompetence placed me on my death bed... He was the one that did not cauterize the sites when he removed my ovaries. This left me bleeding internally and put me into kidney failure. When we went to the ER I was literally dying. Due to this, I now have permanent issues with my kidneys, went into kidney failure a second time in November, and have remained anemic, as well as many other issues. 

Since the surgery, I have felt better because I no longer have ovarian cysts. Sadly though, I still have a great amount of pain from my cervix. I was referred to Dr. Farnam ~ who is an AMAZING doctor that specializes in complicated GYN surgeries. I saw him a little over a week ago for my consult and he told me then that my cervix does indeed need to be removed. However, he did not promise it would alleviate all the issues and pain. Today he went into greater detail. What it boils down to is he will not know the severity of my situation until he has opened me up. This surgery could take thirty minutes or it could last over three hours. His goal is to remove my cervix and clean any adhesion's. If he sees that removing my cervix is too complicated from it being wrapped up in my colon, bladder, and whatever else he will have no other choice but to close me back up and schedule another surgery once I recover from this one. He was explaining that if my cervix is in too much of a complicated place, he will have to call in Dr. Gomez (my life saving surgeon last year when I went into kidney failure. If it weren't for him, I would not be here any longer). Dr. Gomez is an excellent surgeon that would work hand in hand with Dr. Farnam is needed in order to avoid bowel damages and to leave me with a colostomy bag. I love the fact that he knows what he is doing, yet is not too arrogant or does not have too much pride that he refuses to ask for assistance. If you want to look him up, his website is www.farnammd.com. Dr. Farnam also proceeded to tell me that if he could not remove my cervix, even with Dr. Gomez, then he would have no other choice than to refer me to the Mayo clinic next. Typically following this procedure, patients are sent home. With that being said, I will more than likely be kept in the hospital due to my medical problems and the complications that could arise. He is also very pissed with the incompetent doctors at Beaumont that allowed last year to happen and to see what it has done to me. Dr. Farnam also informed me that he cannot promise this will leave me pain free. Scary enough, all the damages done last year and over the last 15 years have more than likely left me with permanent pain in the pelvic and abdominal regions. He explained there is a very high chance that I will always be on pain meds and that there will be certain things I can never do or have to limit myself to...

My thoughts, well, I am scared because I have to undergo ANOTHER surgery. This makes 11 surgeries in 9 years. This makes 8 on my abdomen overall and the fourth surgery since last August, three of which have been abdominal and one spinal. While I am scared, I am also very angry and extremely tired of this. I hate the surgeries. I hate the medical problems that I have. I find myself angry a lot lately due to the fact that I can no longer have children and the ones I did have I had a real hard time carrying and they were all full of bedrest and pre-term labor, as well as other issues. I find myself wishing that I could be like many others and the reality that I can't do what others can breaks my heart. I see many take advantage of their good health, when they should be more grateful for it. Yet, through all of this, I find myself happy and beyond thankful to still be here and be alive, when I know that I shouldn't be after last year and the years prior to that. I just wish others understood that life has not been easy and I do have to fight for my health to remain stable. I have a lot more emotions to this all, but none that I am ready to share on here with everyone... At least not yet. I may be sometime very soon.....

What I ask of each of you reading, please just say a prayer for the complications to be minimal and for this to go without further dangers. As well as a prayer that I feel better from the spinal surgery I had in June very soon! We really need this to go as smooth as possible and for the recovery to go without issues. Thank you to the ones that have stayed by my side through all these health scares and issues. I would be lost without each of you. The more I know, the more I will update on here. Right now, I feel kind of at a loss for words out of the concern, fear, and pure exhaustion.

Thank you everyone!

Wordless Wednesday

- Posted using BlogPress from Britt's iPhone

Cuffed & Shackled

One night before Kevin took Convalescence Leave to recover from surgery,  he came home with handcuffs and shackles in his hand. He is a platoon sergeant and as a few soldiers that are currently locked up for a variety of reasons. When he goes to the prison to escort them somewhere, he has to place them in handcuffs and shackles for everyone's safety and flight risks. This was the first time he had ever come home with these items. Typically they go later during the morning time, so they can check these things out just prior to heading to the prison. In this case, the appointment was so early, that he wasn't able to wait until the next morning. When the kids saw the handcuffs and shackles, they became instantly amazed and Nic told Kevin he was going to lock Caitlin up. As you can see in the photos, he did just that! When he managed to get her in these, I had to take a picture because her expression was just priceless! The photo that shows Nicholas holding the broom, is him pretending to have a gun... What can I say? He is ALL boy!

Cool, New Sleep T's

A little over a week ago, the kids received a package from Grannie and Grandpa that left the little ones full of excitement! Each of the kids received surprises, as well as T-shirts from their trip to South GA this summer. Grandpa decided that they each needed XL shirts so they could have sleep shirts. I think it was more so that they could have sleep shirts and always think of Grannie and Grandpa! :) Breanna, Caitlin, and Nic instantly out their shirts on and always rush me to wash them so they can sleep in their shirts. It's so cute and sweet to see them like this!

We miss  and love you Grannie and Grandpa!!!! Hope to see you soon!