Saturday, July 30, 2011

Summer Storms

In El Paso it is on a very rare occasion that we see rain clouds and have storms rolling in. However, it never fails that once we reach the mid to late summer season, we see some isolated storms come through this city that we live in. They say the sun shines on average 302 days a year here, which would be the reason behind us being referred to as the Sun City.

When the storms came through during the first few days of this week, the kids became frightened by the sound of the rumbling thunder. To me, I saw no big deal in it and opened all windows and doors, allowing the wind to blow through the house and to let the smell of rain take over. Then it hit me, the kids are not use to the east coast storms like I am. They have never known it to really storm.

Of course, after all the storms and rain that has come through every evening and night, not only have the kids found it entertaining to run outside and splash in puddles, Kevin and I have had a blast taking the XTerra out on some easy riding trails just to ride through the water. Nicholas has now discovered that he can make some mad puddles in the backyard with the water hose... Needless to say, we have caught him "wheeling" while on his bike! I guess the genes run through thick in him with a mom and dad that love to get out in the muddy puddles with 4 wheeler's and big trucks!!!

The last photo is the one that stands out to us the most. While we were out driving, we noticed the storm had a very red tint to it. It was very odd and of course we had to take pics!



Friday, July 29, 2011

Falling in Love All Over Again

After three hours of Kevin being in the OR and me being on the verge of a breakdown because the procedure that was only supposed to last a little over an hour ended up being over three hours. Panic was beginning to set in to the point I had to ask the Red Cross Volunteer woman if she could find out what was going on with my husband. Of course, she went to the OR area to check the status of his procedure and find out what was taking so long. She was only away from a few minutes and came back with the news that they were in the process of transferring him from the OR to the recovery area and that his doctor would be visiting with me within moments.

Not long after the conversation with this sweet lady, Kevin's neurosurgeon came in to get me and Nicholas. As we were walking to the recovery area, Dr. Caram explained all that had taken place and why it had taken double to time. Once he had made the incision and was in the neck area, he was able to see the extent of the damages. He was able to see that the MRI did not show how horrible things really were and what had been done to Kevin after being hit with so many IED's. Kevin has severe arthritis and bone spurs in his neck as well as the bones crushing down on his neck. There was a lot of drilling and moving around in order to replace a disc and perform a fusion. He had bones pressing down on the nerves that was causing a constant pain in his neck, shoulders, and stabbing headaches. 

As we approached the recovery area, I saw my husband lying in the bed not even knowing who he was or where he was at that moment. I saw a side of him that I had never seen, even after he had his arm surgeries he wasn't as bad. He kept lifting his arms and placing his hands against his heads in hopes of trying to ease the pain. The good sign that I immediately picked up on was that my husband was lifting his arms again with no problem. But, to see him in that amount of pain I felt my heart just ache. For about an hour they kept pushing the pain meds through him in hopes to alleviate some of the pain. I felt helpless seeing him this way. Yet, he kept grabbing onto me and keeping me as close to him as he could.

About an hour after being in the recovery area, we were taken a few floors up to a room that he would be staying the night in. During the few hours that I was able to stay with him, Kevin kept me laying beside him, holding me close, which Nic played on my phone or watched a movie. I felt like at some points I was Kev's crutch as he tried to hard to not let me see the pain he was in. I don't think he realized that it all showed through just by looking at his eyes. Through this time, Kev kept telling me how much he loves me and yet, I still felt helpless because I couldn't just make him feel better.

During this time, I felt my heart break into a million pieces as I watched the battles, yet at the same time I felt my heart swell with pride knowing what all he has done and been through. I caught myself on multiple moments after he pulled me beside him to lay with him on his bed, tearing up and trying my hardest not to shed even a single tear. I mean, how do you explain to someone fresh out of surgery the thoughts that were going through my mind. Everything from the past two deployments and his injuries became raw and fresh to me all over again. My husband has honestly lived through the true hell of combat. He has done, seen, witnessed what we all fear or worse, what we all imagine the most difficult situations to be in war. He pulled convoy security, he did the recovery missions, he was involved in multiple firefights. He's lived the true hell of war.

For the first time since his return in 2007 and again in 2009, everything truly hit me. It all came falling down on me like a pile of bricks. When I returned home that evening, the tears just poured. I often hear many wives mad and yelling at the world because their spouse is no longer the person that they sent off to war. I know this is true.... Yet, how can one find so much anger in this situation. All I could think was, my husband came home. Even if he has severe problems with PTSD, TBI, sleep apnea, skin cancer, and everything else that has come out of the deployments, we can work through it all. He's home with me and our kids and he is alive. There were so many times over there when things could have gone differently. I could have been one of the many that had to live through the feared and dreaded speech of "On behalf of the United States Army, we regret to inform you...", yet I wasn't. I didn't have to explain to our children that their daddy wasn't coming home. I haven't had to rebuild my life, alone, while daily just trying to keep it together because my spouse didn't come home physically.

So, here I am, lucky and relieved because I can lay my head down every night with Kevin beside me. As I write this, I feel selfish and in pain because I know how many others there are that are no longer able to experience this any longer. In the end, regardless of what war has brought to my house, I no longer have doubts, fears, or worries that we not overcome everything. Sure, life and marriage won't always be easy, nor do I expect it to be. However, something during the recovery period following Kev's surgery hit me hard and I found myself falling in love all over again with this man that I met years ago and have been blessed to share my life with. War changes people, but it's what you make of it in the end and the determination a spouse and veteran have to make things work. I welcome the new changes that lie ahead, including the challenges that come after combat.  Kevin will never be the same mentally or physically again as he was before he ever deployed, yet he will always be the man I love and continue sharing my life with. 

Monday, July 25, 2011

Fun in the Hot July Sun

A couple weeks ago the kids headed to the backyard to play and run around in the nice weather we were having. They asked us if they could play in the sprinklers we bought them last year. They never even made it to the point of hooking everything up, when Nic decided to grab the water hose and start a battle in attempt to soak the girls. As soon as this started, Caitlin of course took off running and Bre managed to get herself cornered at the back wall with a teal plastic container lid as her human shield. 

Her "shield" didn't work as she hoped, which of course turned a battle into a war! Breanna somehow managed to snag the water hose from Nicholas, who was able to get a grip back on it and around in circles these two ran. It didn't take too terribly long before Breanna managed to have Nicholas soaking wet. Even with his enjoyment and laughter in full swing, this brought on a war between these two. The fought back and forth over the water hose, laughing the entire time! 

Their laughter just makes my heart melt.....






Oh, and the grass looks absolutely amazing and so much better now!!!! :)

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Kevin's Spinal Surgery Update

As most of you know, on Wednesday at 5:20 in the morning, we had to report to William Beaumont Army Medical Center for Kev's spinal surgery. This procedure consisted of a disc replacement in C5-6 and a fusion at C6-7.

Of course Tuesday night went by with very limited sleep and Wednesday morning came way too early! We did manage to make it to the hospital on time, even with Nicholas not wanting to wake up and get going. Surprisingly, they allowed Nic and I to go everywhere along side Kevin with of course the exception of the OR. Around 7:40 and the meetings with the surgical team, we were told to head to the waiting room and that the surgery would last a little under two hours. Needless to say, it lasted a little over three hours! Nic and I grabbed a cinnamon roll from the cart a few floors down, as well as a drink, then settled in the waiting room for a few hours. Nicholas made friends with anyone around us, he played with his cars and dinosaurs, watched a movie, colored in his books, and even had a nice woman next to us read a story to him. When we reached the three hour point of Kevin being in surgery, I started to get worried and nervous...only to find out that he was just being rolled into the recovery area at that point.

The Neurosurgeon arrived in the waiting room right around the three and a half hour mark of Kevin going back. At that point he explained that the surgery was a lot more complex than expected due to the bone spurs, arthritis, and bones crushing Kev's nerves. He explained that the MRI did not even come close to showing the extent of the damages and injuries. Needless to say, we are both very pleased with this doctor and very happy that he went ahead with the surgery in place of Kevin waiting for after we moved.

Dr. Caram (the neurosurgeon) made the incision in the front right portion of Kev's neck and went through the side wall to reach the discs. At this point there were findings of severe cervical spondylosis (degenerative osteoarthritis of the joints between the spinal vertebrae ~ degenerative disc disease) at his C5-6 and C6-7. Dr. Caram had to do a good amount of drilling during this procedure. As I stated in the beginning, his C5-6 was a disc replacement and C6-7 ended up being a fusion. Dr. Caram also explained that the discs were pressing down and crushing Kev's nerves, which in return was also causing a lot of the pain.

Dr. Caram explained to us that after the surgery and once Kevin starts to feel somewhat better, he needs to use his neck muscles in exercises that have him looking up, down, left, and right because certain neck muscles have been "lost" due to not using them. He now has to strengthen them all.

Before the surgery, Kevin would sporadically get stabbing headaches and neck pains, there was a grinding feeling when he would look left, right, up, or down. His back was beginning to show somewhat of a hunch and to lift his arms in an upward position would be painful throughout the shoulder area. Following the surgery, the shoulder pain was minimized and so far he has not grabbed his head from the stabbing headaches. Now, when he looks to the left or right, he no longer has the grinding pain and just has the surgical pain. Kev is still real sore and the pain is noticeable at times, but overall, the improvements are already showing through! He is very glad it is over and very excited to get through this recovery process so that he can feel all the improvements.


For those of you who may not know much about the incidents that led to this surgery, let me tell you. In 2006-2007 while in Iraq, Kevin came in close contact with many IED's, VBED's, mortars, RPG's, and was involved in numerous fire fights. The same thing in 2009, just not as severe. During one mission in 2007 an IED was activated right beside the truck Kevin was gunning in and he was thrown from the turret. This incident  left him with a gash on the front upper part of his head, bleeding everywhere,  briefly unconscious, broken elbow, hurt back and neck, and nerve damage throughout his arms. Following these injuries, he was put back on missions a couple days later and kept pushing through. When he redeployed home months later, I could instantly see the differences in him physically. He was not able to move as he did before and he was always in pain. He could no longer pick up heavy objects as before he deployed to Mosul, Iraq. As time crept by, he became worse. Even though the physical struggles became more challenging as the days went by, he still kept pushing through and even deployed again 17 months later. In 2009 he was in Iraq for about 8 months when they medically sent him home on R&R. At this point, he had become so much worse. He was unable to open things, such as water and gatorade bottles. His hands had quit working and he was partially paralyzed. Kevin could no longer hold nor fire his weapon and had lost feeling in both hands. Upon his return he had to undergo a surgery in each arm called a Ulnar Nerve Transition. Within time, the feeling and movement came back in his hands and arms. His left hand is much better today, but he still cannot fully extend his right hand open. His pinky and ring finger do not open all the way. He also has a lot of tingling throughout this area and the feeling has not even returned half way. After trying physical therapy and injections in his back and neck, the surgeon decided it was best to go ahead with the disc replacement and fusion. Kevin still has bone spurs, crushed vertebrae, arthritis, and degenerative disc disease throughout his back. However, this surgery should help him out tremendously!

As always, please keep our family in your prayers when it comes to our health obstacles!





Saturday, July 23, 2011

I'm Almost Back

What a chaotic month this past month or so has been for my family! First, I had spinal surgery on June 18 which kept me down for awhile. I am still trying to recover as I write this, but am much better than I was. The pain is still there and it still hurts to sit, but it could be worse!

Kevin had to undergo a disc replacement on his C5-6 and a fusion on C6-7 this past Wednesday morning (July 20). He had to stay over night at Beaumont and is home now, recovering. He is already able to tell and feel a difference and improvements, which is absolutely amazing! We cannot wait to see what the full recovery brings to him! Kev is still in a fair amount of pain and very sore, but is on his road to feeling better in that area of his neck and shoulders. I will post again at some point this weekend of the details of his surgery and why it was done, just as I will update with many photos that I have hidden away to share!

Hopefully in the next week or two, I will be back to updating on here. Thank you so much to everyone that prayed and to all that called/messaged me to check on him and me over the past six weeks! We appreciate and love you all!

Monday, July 11, 2011

Today's Boredom Produced....

More collages from photos since the first of this year.....

Enjoy! Click on to enlarge!








Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Blogger Buddies, Lend me a Hand!

Fellow Blogger Buddies:
Please help me spread the word on this contest and help FamilyOfaVet.com place first! Placing first will allow us to help spread more awareness and education to and for our Combat Vets and their families that face life with PTSD and TBI as well as other factors after war!


As you all know, I am on the Board of Directors for an awesome nonprofit organization, FamilyOfaVet.com....

Discover is currently holding a contest, Vote for you favorite card design to support Operation Homefront. What better way for FamilyOfaVet.com to get involved and to raise more awareness for PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and TBI (traumatic brain injury)? We have our design out and have entered this contest that you can vote on from now through July 15 and the best part is you can vote daily for our design! Our founder, Brannan Vines, has entered the contest in her name because we can't currently enter as an organization. As you all know, we are a nonprofit organization reaching out to Combat Vets and their families all over the world! If we wing, we will get $5,000 to help continue our work and spread the word about PTSD and TBI! So, come vote for us and help us take this to first place!

http://www.discovercard.com/cardartdesigncontest/#discover/detail/245

Also, you can join our event on facebook.com!
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=241341509228179

Our website: http://familyofavet.com/

Come "like" us on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LifeAfterCombat